Let me start off by saying that I am NOT in any way an expert in the world of marriage, which would definitely be confirmed by my wife. Honestly, I don’t want to be an expert. Learning is all part of the fun. My wife and I were married just under two years ago, so this adventure is still very new to us. My goal is to simply share my journey with you, explain what new discoveries I have along the way, and create material that is relatable, while hopefully providing a small dose of knowledge in some areas. While doing the QALO Squat Challenge, accompanied by the Call to Actions for Couples, I got to thinking. We all know that feeling, when maybe you weren’t planning on doing something active, but you pushed yourself to do it and came back home after so grateful that you did. That is exactly the feeling I have had after each day of the call to actions. This led me to realize. Marriage is a muscle. Here is a list of 5 reasons why:
1. In order to make it grow, you need to put the work in. I think the word forever is what is focused on when thinking of marriage. I’ve heard “it’s just so permanent,” or “dude, forever is such a long time.” In the short while I have been married what I have learned is that forever is made up of a bunch of “today’s”. Marriage, like a muscle, requires daily work and effort in order to grow. If you put in a little workout on Monday, and maybe pop in on Thursday or Friday, you are doing your muscle a huge disservice in it’s effort to grow. Give it attention daily. While you’re daydreaming about how great it will be years from now, you are missing out on the work you could be putting in right now.
2. Not resolving small issues can lead to a much bigger one. I have incredibly flat feet. I know. Just what you wanted to know. I went years without wearing any form of support in my shoes while running and working out. I knew it bothered me, but I just ignored it. I could deal with it. Until years later, that small injury led to shin splints, a bad hip, and a hurt lower back. Should have just taken care of the arches. When you have a small issue, it may not seem like much at the time, yet the more it is pushed under the rug, the greater the impact that issue has on the bigger picture. Like the human body, it is all connected.
3. You need to learn what makes it grow. If you decided you want to put on a lot of muscle, but had never lifted before, the first thing you would do is figure out how to make your muscle grow, right? If you walked into a gym, and just started throwing weights around how YOU think is best, you’re probably not going to have the best results. My wife needs a certain type of love from me. The biggest mistake I can make is assuming I know exactly what to do without truly learning what makes her grow. My job as her partner is to love in ways she needs, not in the ways I think she does.
4. Sometimes you don’t want to work it out. Sometimes I am tired. Sometimes I just flat out do not want to go to the gym. It is these days that I need to go most. There are days that I don’t want to go out of my way to make my wife feel special. Sorry, but it’s the truth. I am human. I am either feeling selfish, or for some reason my needs are bigger than hers in that moment. This is a huge challenge, but marriage for me is built on the days I do something I don’t feel like doing. I need to push myself to acknowledge that my needs are never greater than hers.
5. Sometimes growing with a group is the way to go. I never really took group classes until I started boxing. I wanted nothing to do with them at first, but seeing as how I didn’t know how to throw a jab and I was too broke to afford a trainer, I didn’t have a choice. It didn’t take long for me to love it. The team mentality that is built up is so helpful in getting you to the next level. Look at what it has done with CrossFit. I am a huge advocate of community in marriage. My wife and I try and do our best to surround ourselves with other people that are working towards the same goals. Adventures are meant to be shared. You don’t have to do it alone. Now go build that muscle.
QALO Life Team